 HyunA (feat. G.NA and Junhyung) - A Bitter Day  Sunday, July 3, 2011
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
i might smile when the time comes
but i guess i can’t help it right now
even though the weather is great, my mood is not
i think you’re teasing me, and i get mad
i struggle because of these situations i can’t handle
the exact opposite of me, the world continues spinning as if nothing happened
you were living just fine
it’s not fair, this is unfair
people who look at me while passing by pity me
nothing goes right
i missed the place where i was supposed to get off at this morning
because i suddenly thought of you, i got off at a lonesome station
because it seemed lonely today of all days, tears just kept falling
i walked for a long time like that
i miss you, who i’ve been only hating, yet again
because the days when i was weak with no strength to hold onto you were so pathetic
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
i might smile when the time comes
but i guess i can’t help it right now
i can’t do anything
even though i’m sad because i’m thinking of you again right now
even though it will be difficult, i’ll keep trying to erase you
no matter what i say, it will sound like an excuse
even if i say that all of this was for you
because you were too good for me
because i was uncomfortable as if i were wearing clothes that didn’t match me
you’re beautiful, but you withered away from me
how do you think i felt while looking at that?
we should have just never started
i shouldn’t have looked into your eyes that first time
i thought i would be carefree once i let you go, but that wasn’t the case
my mind understands that we’ve separated
but my heart doesn’t want to accept it
missing you and trying to erase you, it repeats every day
i’ll be the one to take all the pain
i’d like it if you were just happy
so that the choice i make now doesn’t go to waste
so that i don’t regret it
i’ll always pray for you
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
i might smile when the time comes
but i guess i can’t help it right now
i can’t do anything
even though i’m sad because i’m thinking of you again right now
even though it will be difficult, i’ll keep trying to erase you
it’ll be forgotten little by little
when time passes, i’ll be able to smile and reminisce
instead of that common saying that time heals everything
tell me something that actually works
you can receive so much more love than what you got from me
you’re as beautiful as ever
you said we’d be together forever
in the end, we’re the same as others
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
that day will come
7:30 PM | back to top
jonghun's cafe message; 23/3/11 3:57am Thursday, March 24, 2011
Everyone had won against the fight with the cold spell in this early spring right?
I have switched off the lights and turned on my laptop to leave a message at such a late timing.
Just... Just... That... Er… I have nothing that I want to say. I am just slightly worried and my head is a little confused.
Please do not worry about me. ^^ The only son with blood type A has always been like this. ^^
Ah. I just happened to tilt my head to the right and saw the moon hanging there. Hehe. It is really beautiful~
I was thinking… If I lived on the moon, maybe I would lead a very comfortable and carefree life~
How should I describe the 1st 3 months of the year? I am already 22 years old and had also thought about leading a slightly different life.
There are many things that I want to do. Aside from playing, I also have many things that I want to learn. It is really a little too much. ^^
Because I did not do well enough for the things that I am currently doing, therefore I can only think about all of those ideas.
Hehe. What should I say? There are no fan meetings this time. There are also very few fan autograph sessions as well as activities ,, Hmm.
Everyone must be having mixed feelings right? We also like being busy and being on stage receiving everyone’s cheers. I have thought about these for many times…
Miss it a lot~ Right? Does everyone feel the same? I went to CNBlue’s Showcase not long ago. On that day, I also became a fan of our country’s artistes for the first time.
We are a family, but why do I like them so much ^^ I thought about many things while watching them perform~
Do our fans have the same feeling as me now? When you hear the song that you like and even though you are unable to express your feelings…
But in your heart, it resembles one being at a concert. Hehe. It is exactly that… I seem to be able to have a better understanding on our fans’ feelings.
Do you all love us very very much? Do you all treasure us very very much? Do you all want to see us very much? Do you all want to have skinship with us? Do you all want to do something for us..? Hehe.
Should I also hold the camera to take a picture of everyone once? Hehe. And~ I also wish to return to that time~
Even though I am around the same age as friends in CNBlue, but we debuted at a different time. During the times when we had no ideas and troubles, it seems to be the best.
I had many different ideas and really wanted to start on the album’s promotional activities as soon as possible. But now, I no longer do that, I would just spend each day meaninglessly. I worked really hard in doing everything.
Hope that everyone would be able to spend each and every day with precious and beautiful moments.
.
.
.
♡
p.s At such a late timing, I am grateful to the moon that is hanging up in the sky. By Jonghun who left a message.
Translated by multiplylove@silh0uette
Speaks for itself.
3:38 PM | back to top
science discovery day Friday, March 18, 2011
Well - I haven't had this kind of fun in literally more than a year.
Today is Friday, March 18th 2011, and the Science Discovery Day in Taylor's University Lakeside Campus has just ended. It was... well... there were lots of discoveries I did make. Both in terms of knowledge and about people. Y'know.... the 'getting comfortable' side? :)
Only two other classmates (EG, KC) went, and tbh I was looking forward to it because I don't really... click that well with my class. I'm fine with EG though - I actually like his presence, whenever he notices me I guess. Popular guy :P
So I came to college at 8 and see a whole lot of blue science-nerd shirt-wearing people (I am one of them -.-). Later I find out that the participants were not only from TCSJ A-Level, but also the Sri Hartamas International Baccalaureate (IB) students. Interesting! Kinda stoned alone for a while texting Cyn and Sarah, then sat with EG in the bus.
Reached Lakeside, and hey there was breakfast waiting for us! n_____n Curry puffs, meehoon and a choice of either coffee or teh tarik (I took 2 cups of the latter). Ate like a hungry person I was. 8D Then it was to the opening speech, bla bla bla and then to the first workshop: Biosciences!
Our first activity was to make - guess what? - candy! (lol the itinerary says 'magic' candy but there was nothing particularly magical about it imo. Other from the fact that I helped make it 8D) It definitely set the mood for the day, making me all excited and adsjkdshajdashhaaaawoooo *___* most of the time lols. Heated sugar+syrup till 140 degrees celsius then added colouring. And pouring into jelly moulds was a messy, messy process, but fun as hell! Spreading our (group included EG, KC, Wilson, KC's friend and... Eng Hian was it?) hardening syrup into the mould then all over the aluminium foil. A few of us made letters - there was an L and and F accidentally made, and I immediately claimed it for my own XD (littlefuji baybeh) Got a ribbon candy too that I ate on the bus back to college.
Looooooved the first event, then the second one was boring stuff. Electrophoresis, been there done that in the earlier Chem workshop. Nothing much to talk about except we poked the agarose gel to pieces LOL.
Then at 11am, it was 'morning tea break'! But we just ate like 3 hours ago! Who cares pft. Ate a green roll and some round brown kuih (lol idk the names) and drank coffee. Mmmm.
2nd workshop: Pharmacy. The first activity was to synthesise paracetamol using some NH2-phenol. Pretty basic Chem lab stuff, the paracetamol came out in crystal, salt-like form. The lecturer was so darn serious and suffocating though. -___- Did not enjoy his presence k.
Next activity was explanations of quality control in tablets, I liked this guy in charge :D very informative stuff like how to compress a tablet, and how to test the breakdown and the dissolution of the tablets using special super-canggih machines. lols But pharmacy feels so...technical and dead and I don't really want to do it TT
1-2pm: Lunchtime! Yummy food *____* rendang chicken, briyani rice, delish curry and the sweet pickled cucumber side dish I love. Very good. Saw Sarahhhhh!!! :DDDDD Talked about life and problems and stuff. LOVED IT. :D Missed her sfm ok.
Last workshop was of medicine. The first activity was enlightening, biochemical screening of blood and urine. (plus a bonus look at a plasticized half a head and torso and leg of a German person....) Did the urine test. The results came out in receipt form LOL.
Second activity omg, the lady in charge was a total bitch and made everyone who claimed they weren't interested in medicine leave the lab. I mean, wtf is wrong with you?! I stayed just to spite her mentally. Did vital statistics, eg. measuring blood pressure. Fail though XD;
Then bus ride home. Mmm. It rained. :[ And EG left halfway. Wilson guy is interesting though. Hope I can keep the friendship.
4:37 PM | back to top
what should i say? my life story? Sunday, March 13, 2011
Mom just had a fit of rage, as she's prone to every week or so. She forced me to miss guitar class today to fold my clothes because I didn't do it earlier. I cried so much my tissues fill up one-third of the wastepaper basket. I practiced excitedly for my lesson today as I was impatient to learn more of Metallica's One, which I'm beginning to love. Now I have to wait until Tuesday.
I guess it's because both my sister and I are so lazy and unwilling to clean up our mess sometimes. But heck, I do try out of guilt and responsibility. Admittedly, quite often I don't listen to her orders. I hate washing dishes, I feel way too lazy to clean my room and fold my clothes. And she just goes ballistic about it every single day. When she sees me she starts telling me to clean this and tidy that.
I'm hella tired of her directing me to do things every day. I don't blame her, after all it is her responsibility to make us better. But she unfailingly tells me to do things every day, again and again and again, and I feel like I have no longer a mind of my own. I just do as I'm told. I am surpressed to the point whereby I can't think for myself or even rebel. Maybe that's why I'm just not doing what she tells me to do anymore. Some part inside me says that enough is enough.
From her, I practiced my stony face to perfection - I never show my temper or emotion to her out of respect and fear. I don't want to be like my sister, who has a short fuse and would be annoyed with every sound or disturbance around her, especially my mom's nagging. I wanted to show everyone I could be patient. But now it's just turned to chronic ignorance. I simply shut out the things I don't want to see and hear.
And the people as well. My dad, who doesn't talk to me other from asking what time my college ends and endless shouting about me being on the computer too much. My sister that I haven't properly talked to in seven years, who keeps her disgusted face on all the time and leaves her mess around and sticks to her computer as well. And my mom, who on her good days is as sweet as a feather, but on bad days will scream in her high-pitched voice endlessly, and even will throw clothes out of the house and into the dustbin as she feels like it. And I just ignore everything. We are like strangers under the same roof. We're all suffering.
My parents already know of me wanting to move out and being on my own. I guess this is where I start becoming serious. I texted YL to see whether there is any room for rent in the house near Taylor's she's staying in. Although I can barely take care of myself - in fact I think I'm going to run into a lot of problems - I want to learn to try. I want to be independent. I don't want to feel old and sad and....not live anymore.
I don't have a life. I've become introverted and awkward around people because I have no one to practice my social skills with. Thus I have few friends, which kills me inside as I am a very fun-loving person. And with my friends I am insecure about how they view me. To top it all, the acne on my face makes me feel ashamed to even look people in the eye. I feel trapped in college and studies. The two things that make me feel alive, relaxed and happy is catching up on Korean pop and updates and listening to good (not too heavy) rock music. It's like my calling. My saviour. My escape until life snaps me back to reality with either screaming, or silence.
4:34 PM | back to top
to be strong like you Tuesday, March 1, 2011
If simple sense will not succeed,
I make no bustling, but abide:
For shining wealth or scaring woe,
I force no friend, I fear no foe.
-Careless Content, poem by John Byrom
One day, I will stop caring about petty things like feeling lonely without friends. But that day is not today, either.
When?
5:24 PM | back to top
little things of love Saturday, February 26, 2011
Message to FT Island - I submitted it through loveft-i.net for FTI's 4th anniversary ^^
FT Island, four years seem to have passed in a blink of an eye, right? Without your knowledge, I've been on the FTI bus for the last year, silently supporting you all the way from Malaysia~ I'm sure you guys have gone through a lot of disappointing and tiring experiences along the way, but there must have been a lot of happy times that cannot be replaced ^^
Just like my own personal journey with you guys - each day that ticks by seems insignificant, but when I look back to it there's been so many emotions and meaning that is hard to put into words. FT Island has redefined my taste of music into our own brand of rock, which injects hope into my every day!
Hongki, Jaejin, Seunghyun, Jonghun, Wonbin too - and especially dearest sweet Minhwan, thank you for being here with us, although not physically but spiritually. Please come to Malaysia to meet the Pris here, we're anxiously waiting for you!!
Chooi Yi, Malaysia
And I posted a cover of IU's The Story Only I Didn't Know on YouTube today. Please listen and comment :)
11:27 PM | back to top
number six Sunday, February 20, 2011
"Thank you so much to Melissa, for insisting on calling me even though I told her not to, and Chooi Yi, for listening to me rant on MSN even though it was a ridiculously small matter."
No. Thank YOU for thanking me, Lynn unnie. It makes me feel appreciated as a friend... which I often don't feel.
My real life friend circle is nearly completely barren. I only have one single friend whom I trust unconditionally, and she's from my high school. Rubini. :) Person who's not even reading my blog anymore, huuhhhh? And there's one more whom I'm getting to re-know and start being friends again. Who willingly admitted she was sorry and tried to make it up to me. How could I not accept? I missed you too. A third girl whom I spend my time with in class, but rarely talk to. So... Jonghun's recent tweet really got to me.
"Translation: When you are with someone who doesn’t talk much and both of you are quiet, then your partner is a dull person. However, when you are with someone with lots of charm but both of you are quiet, then you are the dull person."I can freely, almost meanly say, that she's the dull one. Maybe the things I say make her uncomfortable. I always ask her for her opinion on things just to know her thoughts and stuff, but every time she shrugs and smiles awkwardly. Wooooah okayyy. Wth is that supposed to mean? And she doesn't like people touching her. Huh?? Just... what. Can't I have someone.... normal? /frustrated
But what makes me most disappointed is that I'm always the one who gives everything I can to a friend dear to me. But when I need her, I still have to be the one to reach out. She'd listen, yes, but no. I don't want to intrude into her life if she doesn't miss me the way I do. 7 years of friendship... maybe it's just that I can't understand her, or I'm too sensitive... or she really can live without us being close. Unlike me who misses her company all the time.
1:55 PM | back to top
|
HyunA (feat. G.NA and Junhyung) - A Bitter Day Sunday, July 3, 2011
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
i might smile when the time comes
but i guess i can’t help it right now
even though the weather is great, my mood is not
i think you’re teasing me, and i get mad
i struggle because of these situations i can’t handle
the exact opposite of me, the world continues spinning as if nothing happened
you were living just fine
it’s not fair, this is unfair
people who look at me while passing by pity me
nothing goes right
i missed the place where i was supposed to get off at this morning
because i suddenly thought of you, i got off at a lonesome station
because it seemed lonely today of all days, tears just kept falling
i walked for a long time like that
i miss you, who i’ve been only hating, yet again
because the days when i was weak with no strength to hold onto you were so pathetic
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
i might smile when the time comes
but i guess i can’t help it right now
i can’t do anything
even though i’m sad because i’m thinking of you again right now
even though it will be difficult, i’ll keep trying to erase you
no matter what i say, it will sound like an excuse
even if i say that all of this was for you
because you were too good for me
because i was uncomfortable as if i were wearing clothes that didn’t match me
you’re beautiful, but you withered away from me
how do you think i felt while looking at that?
we should have just never started
i shouldn’t have looked into your eyes that first time
i thought i would be carefree once i let you go, but that wasn’t the case
my mind understands that we’ve separated
but my heart doesn’t want to accept it
missing you and trying to erase you, it repeats every day
i’ll be the one to take all the pain
i’d like it if you were just happy
so that the choice i make now doesn’t go to waste
so that i don’t regret it
i’ll always pray for you
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
i might smile when the time comes
but i guess i can’t help it right now
i can’t do anything
even though i’m sad because i’m thinking of you again right now
even though it will be difficult, i’ll keep trying to erase you
it’ll be forgotten little by little
when time passes, i’ll be able to smile and reminisce
instead of that common saying that time heals everything
tell me something that actually works
you can receive so much more love than what you got from me
you’re as beautiful as ever
you said we’d be together forever
in the end, we’re the same as others
a bitter day, it will all get erased like this
it will all be forgotten someday
that day will come
7:30 PM | back to top
jonghun's cafe message; 23/3/11 3:57am Thursday, March 24, 2011
Everyone had won against the fight with the cold spell in this early spring right?
I have switched off the lights and turned on my laptop to leave a message at such a late timing.
Just... Just... That... Er… I have nothing that I want to say. I am just slightly worried and my head is a little confused.
Please do not worry about me. ^^ The only son with blood type A has always been like this. ^^
Ah. I just happened to tilt my head to the right and saw the moon hanging there. Hehe. It is really beautiful~
I was thinking… If I lived on the moon, maybe I would lead a very comfortable and carefree life~
How should I describe the 1st 3 months of the year? I am already 22 years old and had also thought about leading a slightly different life.
There are many things that I want to do. Aside from playing, I also have many things that I want to learn. It is really a little too much. ^^
Because I did not do well enough for the things that I am currently doing, therefore I can only think about all of those ideas.
Hehe. What should I say? There are no fan meetings this time. There are also very few fan autograph sessions as well as activities ,, Hmm.
Everyone must be having mixed feelings right? We also like being busy and being on stage receiving everyone’s cheers. I have thought about these for many times…
Miss it a lot~ Right? Does everyone feel the same? I went to CNBlue’s Showcase not long ago. On that day, I also became a fan of our country’s artistes for the first time.
We are a family, but why do I like them so much ^^ I thought about many things while watching them perform~
Do our fans have the same feeling as me now? When you hear the song that you like and even though you are unable to express your feelings…
But in your heart, it resembles one being at a concert. Hehe. It is exactly that… I seem to be able to have a better understanding on our fans’ feelings.
Do you all love us very very much? Do you all treasure us very very much? Do you all want to see us very much? Do you all want to have skinship with us? Do you all want to do something for us..? Hehe.
Should I also hold the camera to take a picture of everyone once? Hehe. And~ I also wish to return to that time~
Even though I am around the same age as friends in CNBlue, but we debuted at a different time. During the times when we had no ideas and troubles, it seems to be the best.
I had many different ideas and really wanted to start on the album’s promotional activities as soon as possible. But now, I no longer do that, I would just spend each day meaninglessly. I worked really hard in doing everything.
Hope that everyone would be able to spend each and every day with precious and beautiful moments.
.
.
.
♡
p.s At such a late timing, I am grateful to the moon that is hanging up in the sky. By Jonghun who left a message.
Translated by multiplylove@silh0uette
Speaks for itself.
3:38 PM | back to top
science discovery day Friday, March 18, 2011
Well - I haven't had this kind of fun in literally more than a year.
Today is Friday, March 18th 2011, and the Science Discovery Day in Taylor's University Lakeside Campus has just ended. It was... well... there were lots of discoveries I did make. Both in terms of knowledge and about people. Y'know.... the 'getting comfortable' side? :)
Only two other classmates (EG, KC) went, and tbh I was looking forward to it because I don't really... click that well with my class. I'm fine with EG though - I actually like his presence, whenever he notices me I guess. Popular guy :P
So I came to college at 8 and see a whole lot of blue science-nerd shirt-wearing people (I am one of them -.-). Later I find out that the participants were not only from TCSJ A-Level, but also the Sri Hartamas International Baccalaureate (IB) students. Interesting! Kinda stoned alone for a while texting Cyn and Sarah, then sat with EG in the bus.
Reached Lakeside, and hey there was breakfast waiting for us! n_____n Curry puffs, meehoon and a choice of either coffee or teh tarik (I took 2 cups of the latter). Ate like a hungry person I was. 8D Then it was to the opening speech, bla bla bla and then to the first workshop: Biosciences!
Our first activity was to make - guess what? - candy! (lol the itinerary says 'magic' candy but there was nothing particularly magical about it imo. Other from the fact that I helped make it 8D) It definitely set the mood for the day, making me all excited and adsjkdshajdashhaaaawoooo *___* most of the time lols. Heated sugar+syrup till 140 degrees celsius then added colouring. And pouring into jelly moulds was a messy, messy process, but fun as hell! Spreading our (group included EG, KC, Wilson, KC's friend and... Eng Hian was it?) hardening syrup into the mould then all over the aluminium foil. A few of us made letters - there was an L and and F accidentally made, and I immediately claimed it for my own XD (littlefuji baybeh) Got a ribbon candy too that I ate on the bus back to college.
Looooooved the first event, then the second one was boring stuff. Electrophoresis, been there done that in the earlier Chem workshop. Nothing much to talk about except we poked the agarose gel to pieces LOL.
Then at 11am, it was 'morning tea break'! But we just ate like 3 hours ago! Who cares pft. Ate a green roll and some round brown kuih (lol idk the names) and drank coffee. Mmmm.
2nd workshop: Pharmacy. The first activity was to synthesise paracetamol using some NH2-phenol. Pretty basic Chem lab stuff, the paracetamol came out in crystal, salt-like form. The lecturer was so darn serious and suffocating though. -___- Did not enjoy his presence k.
Next activity was explanations of quality control in tablets, I liked this guy in charge :D very informative stuff like how to compress a tablet, and how to test the breakdown and the dissolution of the tablets using special super-canggih machines. lols But pharmacy feels so...technical and dead and I don't really want to do it TT
1-2pm: Lunchtime! Yummy food *____* rendang chicken, briyani rice, delish curry and the sweet pickled cucumber side dish I love. Very good. Saw Sarahhhhh!!! :DDDDD Talked about life and problems and stuff. LOVED IT. :D Missed her sfm ok.
Last workshop was of medicine. The first activity was enlightening, biochemical screening of blood and urine. (plus a bonus look at a plasticized half a head and torso and leg of a German person....) Did the urine test. The results came out in receipt form LOL.
Second activity omg, the lady in charge was a total bitch and made everyone who claimed they weren't interested in medicine leave the lab. I mean, wtf is wrong with you?! I stayed just to spite her mentally. Did vital statistics, eg. measuring blood pressure. Fail though XD;
Then bus ride home. Mmm. It rained. :[ And EG left halfway. Wilson guy is interesting though. Hope I can keep the friendship.
4:37 PM | back to top
what should i say? my life story? Sunday, March 13, 2011
Mom just had a fit of rage, as she's prone to every week or so. She forced me to miss guitar class today to fold my clothes because I didn't do it earlier. I cried so much my tissues fill up one-third of the wastepaper basket. I practiced excitedly for my lesson today as I was impatient to learn more of Metallica's One, which I'm beginning to love. Now I have to wait until Tuesday.
I guess it's because both my sister and I are so lazy and unwilling to clean up our mess sometimes. But heck, I do try out of guilt and responsibility. Admittedly, quite often I don't listen to her orders. I hate washing dishes, I feel way too lazy to clean my room and fold my clothes. And she just goes ballistic about it every single day. When she sees me she starts telling me to clean this and tidy that.
I'm hella tired of her directing me to do things every day. I don't blame her, after all it is her responsibility to make us better. But she unfailingly tells me to do things every day, again and again and again, and I feel like I have no longer a mind of my own. I just do as I'm told. I am surpressed to the point whereby I can't think for myself or even rebel. Maybe that's why I'm just not doing what she tells me to do anymore. Some part inside me says that enough is enough.
From her, I practiced my stony face to perfection - I never show my temper or emotion to her out of respect and fear. I don't want to be like my sister, who has a short fuse and would be annoyed with every sound or disturbance around her, especially my mom's nagging. I wanted to show everyone I could be patient. But now it's just turned to chronic ignorance. I simply shut out the things I don't want to see and hear.
And the people as well. My dad, who doesn't talk to me other from asking what time my college ends and endless shouting about me being on the computer too much. My sister that I haven't properly talked to in seven years, who keeps her disgusted face on all the time and leaves her mess around and sticks to her computer as well. And my mom, who on her good days is as sweet as a feather, but on bad days will scream in her high-pitched voice endlessly, and even will throw clothes out of the house and into the dustbin as she feels like it. And I just ignore everything. We are like strangers under the same roof. We're all suffering.
My parents already know of me wanting to move out and being on my own. I guess this is where I start becoming serious. I texted YL to see whether there is any room for rent in the house near Taylor's she's staying in. Although I can barely take care of myself - in fact I think I'm going to run into a lot of problems - I want to learn to try. I want to be independent. I don't want to feel old and sad and....not live anymore.
I don't have a life. I've become introverted and awkward around people because I have no one to practice my social skills with. Thus I have few friends, which kills me inside as I am a very fun-loving person. And with my friends I am insecure about how they view me. To top it all, the acne on my face makes me feel ashamed to even look people in the eye. I feel trapped in college and studies. The two things that make me feel alive, relaxed and happy is catching up on Korean pop and updates and listening to good (not too heavy) rock music. It's like my calling. My saviour. My escape until life snaps me back to reality with either screaming, or silence.
4:34 PM | back to top
to be strong like you Tuesday, March 1, 2011
If simple sense will not succeed,
I make no bustling, but abide:
For shining wealth or scaring woe,
I force no friend, I fear no foe.
-Careless Content, poem by John Byrom
One day, I will stop caring about petty things like feeling lonely without friends. But that day is not today, either.
When?
5:24 PM | back to top
little things of love Saturday, February 26, 2011
Message to FT Island - I submitted it through loveft-i.net for FTI's 4th anniversary ^^
FT Island, four years seem to have passed in a blink of an eye, right? Without your knowledge, I've been on the FTI bus for the last year, silently supporting you all the way from Malaysia~ I'm sure you guys have gone through a lot of disappointing and tiring experiences along the way, but there must have been a lot of happy times that cannot be replaced ^^
Just like my own personal journey with you guys - each day that ticks by seems insignificant, but when I look back to it there's been so many emotions and meaning that is hard to put into words. FT Island has redefined my taste of music into our own brand of rock, which injects hope into my every day!
Hongki, Jaejin, Seunghyun, Jonghun, Wonbin too - and especially dearest sweet Minhwan, thank you for being here with us, although not physically but spiritually. Please come to Malaysia to meet the Pris here, we're anxiously waiting for you!!
Chooi Yi, Malaysia
And I posted a cover of IU's The Story Only I Didn't Know on YouTube today. Please listen and comment :)
11:27 PM | back to top
number six Sunday, February 20, 2011
"Thank you so much to Melissa, for insisting on calling me even though I told her not to, and Chooi Yi, for listening to me rant on MSN even though it was a ridiculously small matter."
No. Thank YOU for thanking me, Lynn unnie. It makes me feel appreciated as a friend... which I often don't feel.
My real life friend circle is nearly completely barren. I only have one single friend whom I trust unconditionally, and she's from my high school. Rubini. :) Person who's not even reading my blog anymore, huuhhhh? And there's one more whom I'm getting to re-know and start being friends again. Who willingly admitted she was sorry and tried to make it up to me. How could I not accept? I missed you too. A third girl whom I spend my time with in class, but rarely talk to. So... Jonghun's recent tweet really got to me.
"Translation: When you are with someone who doesn’t talk much and both of you are quiet, then your partner is a dull person. However, when you are with someone with lots of charm but both of you are quiet, then you are the dull person."I can freely, almost meanly say, that she's the dull one. Maybe the things I say make her uncomfortable. I always ask her for her opinion on things just to know her thoughts and stuff, but every time she shrugs and smiles awkwardly. Wooooah okayyy. Wth is that supposed to mean? And she doesn't like people touching her. Huh?? Just... what. Can't I have someone.... normal? /frustrated
But what makes me most disappointed is that I'm always the one who gives everything I can to a friend dear to me. But when I need her, I still have to be the one to reach out. She'd listen, yes, but no. I don't want to intrude into her life if she doesn't miss me the way I do. 7 years of friendship... maybe it's just that I can't understand her, or I'm too sensitive... or she really can live without us being close. Unlike me who misses her company all the time.
1:55 PM | back to top
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