 FT Island, only you.  Monday, December 27, 2010
Last day of being seventeen, my favourite age. I remember back when I was 12, when I rp-ed in Gaia I'd always put my roleplay character as 17. I thought back then that it was the perfect age. Not too old, not too young - the best time to live. But actually experiencing it, it was just another year. It wasn't all that awesome. Lots of time I was lonely. And college was stressful, having few friends and having to study difficult concepts and failing exams. But there was FT Island, which of course, made it all better. They were, and are, my happiness. Temporary, though - during other times I'm just... I feel like a doll. Staring blankly ahead, waiting for someone to wind me so I can move and laugh and not be mechanical.
I just wish that there were people excited for my birthday. Friends. Then maybe I'll have a pretty cake with candles, and all of us singing Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs. And I'll be queen for the day, but we'll all be happy together and go out and have fun somewhere. But that's just a daydream. My friends are distant. I'm not sure if anyone cares anymore. My family is quiet. They're not the raucuous type. All I'm going to do is to sit in front of my laptop and speak to my twitter. (or blog, in this case - I posted most of these lines on my twitter.) I don't know what I want to do. I don't know if I could even do anything. Worse still, I don't think anyone'll come.
I wonder if I'll ever live. There's just no one to look forward to. Minhwan is wonderful, but he's also impossible. As much as I like the guy, he is a Korean idol loved by thousands of fans. Like I'd ever end up with him.
I can't help but feel like a disillusioned old woman. But I'm just a lonely average girl. Is there something wrong with this picture?
Happy birthday to me.
7:40 PM | back to top
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FT Island, only you. Monday, December 27, 2010
Last day of being seventeen, my favourite age. I remember back when I was 12, when I rp-ed in Gaia I'd always put my roleplay character as 17. I thought back then that it was the perfect age. Not too old, not too young - the best time to live. But actually experiencing it, it was just another year. It wasn't all that awesome. Lots of time I was lonely. And college was stressful, having few friends and having to study difficult concepts and failing exams. But there was FT Island, which of course, made it all better. They were, and are, my happiness. Temporary, though - during other times I'm just... I feel like a doll. Staring blankly ahead, waiting for someone to wind me so I can move and laugh and not be mechanical.
I just wish that there were people excited for my birthday. Friends. Then maybe I'll have a pretty cake with candles, and all of us singing Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs. And I'll be queen for the day, but we'll all be happy together and go out and have fun somewhere. But that's just a daydream. My friends are distant. I'm not sure if anyone cares anymore. My family is quiet. They're not the raucuous type. All I'm going to do is to sit in front of my laptop and speak to my twitter. (or blog, in this case - I posted most of these lines on my twitter.) I don't know what I want to do. I don't know if I could even do anything. Worse still, I don't think anyone'll come.
I wonder if I'll ever live. There's just no one to look forward to. Minhwan is wonderful, but he's also impossible. As much as I like the guy, he is a Korean idol loved by thousands of fans. Like I'd ever end up with him.
I can't help but feel like a disillusioned old woman. But I'm just a lonely average girl. Is there something wrong with this picture?
Happy birthday to me.
7:40 PM | back to top
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