 pure, raw me  Monday, July 12, 2010
Which is worse - to suffer in silence, or to suffer of it?
The pain just won't go away. I hate being needy, but I just can't help it. I crave constant companionship, but I'm picky about the friends I choose to associate myself with. I just don't know anymore. I watch them laugh and hang out with each other, but I just feel like I can't fit in with them. I have friends, although very few, but pretty much none in my own class. It's just weird, I feel completely - utterly - out of place. I'm frightened of being a loner. But it's all I can do, to endure the daily silence.
Now I think about it, I have a huge chance of failing my Maths AS exam. I'm not even joking anymore. I can't understand anything that's being taught in class, let alone do my homework. Even if I paid utmost attention to him. Once in a while, I actually do understand my lecturer, but when it comes to problem-solving I just blank out. Blank out. I just have no idea how to begin, or if I manage that, how to continue. Just... how, how am I going to take my exams in a little more than a month?
My internet obsession is there as well. The moment I log onto AIM, or twitter, or LiveJournal, or even the super-overrated Facebook, there's people around I can talk to. It substitutes for my near-lack of offline social life. Even if no one's online, I have my Korean reality shows to watch, Kpop news to catch up with, music to enjoy. It's nice, but I can't help but feel it's only a form of escapism. Maybe there's a lot of people going through the same thing too, but everyone responds differently to situations. And I have no doubt I'm not doing well at all.
I should count my blessings, though. Despite everything, I still have Sarah. And Cyn Dee. Even if I don't see them quite as often as I'd like (not so much Cyn since I see her like ever day lol), they're there if I need them. I have wonderful rp friends to drown myself in alternate reality with. Damn, this isn't working. Okay. I have a guitar~~~ Nightstar, and that in itself is awesome k. :D
Lol. I just don't know anymore. Everything is coming to boiling point.
What now?
3:31 PM | back to top
|
pure, raw me Monday, July 12, 2010
Which is worse - to suffer in silence, or to suffer of it?
The pain just won't go away. I hate being needy, but I just can't help it. I crave constant companionship, but I'm picky about the friends I choose to associate myself with. I just don't know anymore. I watch them laugh and hang out with each other, but I just feel like I can't fit in with them. I have friends, although very few, but pretty much none in my own class. It's just weird, I feel completely - utterly - out of place. I'm frightened of being a loner. But it's all I can do, to endure the daily silence.
Now I think about it, I have a huge chance of failing my Maths AS exam. I'm not even joking anymore. I can't understand anything that's being taught in class, let alone do my homework. Even if I paid utmost attention to him. Once in a while, I actually do understand my lecturer, but when it comes to problem-solving I just blank out. Blank out. I just have no idea how to begin, or if I manage that, how to continue. Just... how, how am I going to take my exams in a little more than a month?
My internet obsession is there as well. The moment I log onto AIM, or twitter, or LiveJournal, or even the super-overrated Facebook, there's people around I can talk to. It substitutes for my near-lack of offline social life. Even if no one's online, I have my Korean reality shows to watch, Kpop news to catch up with, music to enjoy. It's nice, but I can't help but feel it's only a form of escapism. Maybe there's a lot of people going through the same thing too, but everyone responds differently to situations. And I have no doubt I'm not doing well at all.
I should count my blessings, though. Despite everything, I still have Sarah. And Cyn Dee. Even if I don't see them quite as often as I'd like (not so much Cyn since I see her like ever day lol), they're there if I need them. I have wonderful rp friends to drown myself in alternate reality with. Damn, this isn't working. Okay. I have a guitar~~~ Nightstar, and that in itself is awesome k. :D
Lol. I just don't know anymore. Everything is coming to boiling point.
What now?
3:31 PM | back to top
|
i'm not a nameless face...
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Lim Chooi Yi
Also known as Fuji;
I'm your not-so-average Japan fan.
alice nine. and visual kei are love ♥
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